the beginning...

It's the start of challenging days. So much to learn, so much to do, so much to prove. There's still lots of room for improvement. I got what I wanted. Now I want more. But I must work first. I must prove myself worthy. I've proven myself before but I have to prove myself worthy once more. It's scary, exciting and challenging all at the same time. I can't wait for everything to unfold.

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I had a fight with my bestfriend. Again. I just don't get him. I felt like I was being taken for granted. I was hurt. The way he told me that he was attending to me first made it look like a consolation prize. I won't settle for a consolation prize. I haven't even told him about my good news. I didn't have the chance. I wanted to go out because I fear that it would take me some time before I can accomodate anything else aside from family and work. I wasn't able to tell him why.

yes, I am bitter

I am bitter because of so many things that I would rather not put in here. I like the concept that he has. Do your job becasue that's what you have to do. You're there and you have to do it. Think of nothing else. It would just make your soul darker. I'll try.

want it so badly

I want it so badly that I am almost willing to do anything to get it. Please Lord, give it to me if it is due. If it's not, break it to me gently. Hahahahaha!

communication is the key

We almost did it. Almost. While I was in the court I felt like I was playing alone and not with a team of 5 players on my side. I was alone. It was me and them against the opponent. It's just plain sad and stupid. There was no teamwork. I'm thinking that maybe they don't regard me as a good player that's why they just ask me to stay where I am and they expect me to get the ball if it lands in front of me. I refuse to take that crap from them since they don't impress me either. I am a strong defense player. I know that but if I'll be playing and my team is not behind my back, unfortunately, I can't do it alone. It's a game of 6 versus 6. Not 1 plus 5 others against 6. It's just utterly stupid. The defense was bad and they kept on focusing on the offense. To begin with, how can you make a good offense if you haven't defended the ball to be on your side first! You have to stop the ball first, set it and then BOOM! That would be the time for an offense! I maybe so pissed off due to the fact that this is the first time since I played that game that I get to play with such a team. When I look at them, all I see is that they just wanna show their own stuff. Frighten the opponent with their own stuff and not with the team's stuff. CRAP! I have to admit we have good players. Good for me would be a team palyer and a "good" athletic player. Such a waste with a bunch of other lunatics. Such a waste.